Oki, Tansi, Umba-wathtich, Danita ada, Aanii, Hello PFS Families and Caregivers, 

Halloween Powwow 

We look forward to welcoming families to the Halloween Powwow on Thursday afternoon—children are welcome to wear non-scary costumes to school, with no weapons or masks that inhibit their ability to learn, eat, and be comfortable throughout the day. 

PFS—Creating a Safe, Welcoming, Caring, and Respectful Environment 

Piitoayis Family School is committed to creating a safe, welcoming, caring, and respectful environment for all students, staff, and community members. With that in mind, here is an interesting read about peer interactions about why not all conflicts are bullying, but also why no one ever deserves to be bullied. Please review this information with your children.

In any relationship, whether it’s a good friend or just someone who sits next to you in school, the chances are pretty good that you will have a conflict with that person at some point. Where there are two people in a relationship, there are likely to be disagreements and changes. 

One friend might want to play video games; the other might want to go outside. One friend wants to go shopping; the other friend doesn’t like shopping. Your classmate always wants to be first in line and so do you; things like this happen every day. 

Conflict is a natural part of human relationships as people grow and change. Even though it can cause stress, hurt, or discomfort, conflict is not the same as bullying. Conflict happens when people who are equal in a relationship (such as friends, classmates, or co-workers) have different points of view about what’s going on. Sometimes a conflict can escalate into a disagreement so strong that people become emotional—there might be strong words used and lots of big feelings involved. It may take time to sort things out. 

In conflict, when things are equal between people, both sides usually want the issue to be resolved. They don’t want the conflict to keep going on; they want to make things better and they want the relationship to continue in a healthy way. Neither person wants to keep hurting the other, so both people will try to do things to improve the situation. Sometimes, conflict can even be helpful in a relationship that needs to change, providing an opportunity to improve something that’s not going right between the parties. 

It is considered bullying when a person (or group of people) intentionally means to hurt another person. The hurt or harm is done on purpose to make the bullying target feel like less of a person. There is always something unequal about the relationship between the two people; maybe the person bullying is physically stronger and creates fear because of that, or maybe the person bullying is more popular and has the kind of social power that can turn a whole group against one person. 

Whichever type of power a person with bullying behavior has, they use it over the person who is being bullied to make them feel less than who they are. Of course, the person who is being bullied does not want this treatment and did nothing to deserve being treated this way. In bullying, the harm is done deliberately, and the intent is to cause the other person to suffer in some way. Bullying behavior is repeated, or threatened to be repeated, over and over.  

Think about it this way: 

• Conflict, while sometimes uncomfortable, can be an opportunity for equal partners in the situation to learn how to solve problems. This will happen by both people working the problem out through healthy and positive means. 
• Bullying is done by someone perceived to be more powerful than the target and is unwanted, negative, and meant to cause harm to the bullying target through physically or emotionally damaging means that are repeated or threatened to be repeated. 

The next time you are in a conflict with someone (and there will likely be a next time), try and remember that inside every conflict is a hidden opportunity to make your relationship better by learning to speak up for yourself and express your needs. Remember that conflict between two human beings is normal and is bound to happen. 

Remember as well, that bullying is not the same as conflict. Bullying is meant to cause hurt or harm. Bullying is not something that anyone deserves to have happen to them and everyone has the right to feel safe. 

Conflict Resolution 

The difference between bullying and conflict is important to note, because conflict resolution or mediation strategies are sometimes misused to solve bullying problems. These strategies can send the message that both children are partly right and partly wrong, or that “We need to work out the conflict between you two.” These messages are not appropriate in cases of bullying (or in any situation where someone is being victimized). The appropriate message to the child who is being bullied should be “Bullying is wrong and no one deserves to be bullied. We are going to do everything we can to stop what is happening to you.” 

At Piitoayis Family School, we aim to work together with students and families to ensure that all students, staff, and community members feel safe and welcome at school. If your child is experiencing issues with conflicts or bullying at school—please reach out to their classroom teacher to ensure that they are aware of the situation so that we can begin steps to address the issues. Encourage your children to share their concerns or issues with their teacher so we can help our students learn to resolve conflicts, and advocate for their needs. Bullying is neither allowed, nor accepted at PFS, and we need everyone to play a part in ensuring that all the members of our PFS family feel safe and connected.   

Hand to Heart,  

Crystal Good Rider and Shauna Penner 

Principal & Assistant Principal